Shinobi from PonyVille
by JulieArchery107
Summary: After an experiment with the newly awakened Mangekio, Kakashi found himself in a place way too bright and colorful to be real. Too bad that his new home from now on. Without a visible way to get back to Konoha, how will the Copy ninja adjust to his new body and six rainbow colored female admirers?
1. Chapter 1

"Shinobi from PonyVille."

Chapter 1

"Sorry I'm late, I was turned into a horse."

"The reason I called you here…" The Hokage started, gazing at Kakashi's mission report. "Is that it was reported to me, that you unlocked the mangekio sharingan and even managed to use it in the battle against Deidara."

The Copy-ninja just nodded, being too irked to say anything.

His week started of terribly and all he wanted was to hide in his apartment and read his "Icha Icha" books for the rest of it.

After that mission to rescue Gaara, the Hokage made him keep a low profile for a week because of the severe chakra drain he suffered. The problem was the fact that the Hokage forgot he recovers from it insanely quickly his body being used to the lack of chakra after using the eye, after years of practice.

The poor guy ended up walking around Konoha bored out of his mind, after spending yesterday in bed.

"And…since you're still suspended." Tsunade managed to withstand the angry glare he sent her. "I was thinking, maybe you could try and master that sharingan during your spare time. You are, as you know, our only allied sharingan user and that technique could give us a big advantage against the Akatsuki."

"So, basically, you called me over here to give me permission to train?" He asked, raising a bemused eyebrow. "I'm not a baby, Tsunade. I don't need your permission to practice."

The fifth shook her head. "No, I gave you permission to waste the amount of chakra your body managed to recover during your time at the hospital, without having me on your back whining about it." She smiled widely at him and gave his a dismissal.

Having nothing better to do, Kakashi shrugged and teleported himself to the training grounds.

The day was sunny outside and a gentle breeze ruffled the silver jounin's hair.

He smiled under his mask.

It was a perfect day for dimension jumping.

Kakashi then reached out to his backpack and pulled out a scroll with the Uchiha symbol as a seal. Even though he knew everything there is to know about the basic method of using the mangekio sharingan on the objects he can see with his eye, he still needed to know how to use it on himself without ripping his body to shreds in the process. That's why, right after leaving the hospital, he went straight to the Uchiha mansion and took the scroll, originally meant for Sasuke and Itachi, about the subject.

He figured Fugaku wouldn't be to mad if he borrowed it, after all, he didn't ask Obito to hand him over the blasted eye. The fact that he ended up with it, was all the Uchiha boy's fault.

"Okay." He muttered to himself after scanning the paper three times. "It says here that I need to concentrate on my chakra system, so my sharingan knows what to transport, while keeping my eye locked on the object in front of me, to avoid sending of half of my limbs." He snorted. "That doesn't seem dangerous at all." The Copy-nin muttered, sarcastically. "No wonder most of the Uchiha's didn't want to reach this level of the sharingan, if you mess something up, you lose a limb. Don't you just love the consequences of making mistakes?"

Shaking his head, he hid the scroll and hoped his genius mind is as quick learning as ever. He grew quite attached to his limbs, thank you. And didn't fancy the idea of using them in the prime of his life.

"Well." He sighted, moving his right hand towards his headband. "A wise man once said: 'It never hurts to try.'"

The headband was pulled, the sharingan reviled and ready for action.

Kakashi closed his normal eye and took a deep steadying breath, what he was about to do was incredibly dangerous and he had no guarantee he'll get out of it alive, without having the bloodline flowing through his veins.

After one last glance around the training ground, he activated the mangekio and concentrated hard on his chakra system.

A swirling-like sensation overcame his body and he found the world before him, beginning to twist in a tornado-like movement.

The area he was watching with his red eye started to change, trees became longer and curled into a circle along with the rest of the field around him, forming a small tunnel to 'god-knows-where'. Determinated to find out if his experiment was any good, the Copy-ninja jumped through the portal…

And found himself high in the sky, without a para-shoot.

After years of being in similar situations, Kakashi didn't waste time on screaming. He was more interested in what was going on with his body, it was surrounded with yellow light and began changing into something he couldn't recognize.

The last thing he saw before brutally landing head-first on the dirty ground and loosing consciousness, were large, dark-gray hooves where once where his hands.

JA107: Hi guys! Sorry it's so short but I promise the next one will be longer! See ya later!


	2. Chapter 2

"Shinobi from PonyVille."

Chapter 2

"Kakashi meet Silver Wing."

The day was beautiful in PonyVille.

The sun was shining, the birds were singing and the bunnies were hopping around, cheerfully.

And the young Pegasus named FlutterShy loved every minute of it.

"Why hello, Angel." The yellow pony said with her sweet, timid voice, peering at the white rabbit hopping towards her house near the forest, from her spot in the window. "How is your day, so far?"

The cute animal smiled at her with one of his rear true smiles and bounced up and down more excitedly, pointing at the forest.

"What is it, Angel?" FlutterShy asked, her voice having a hint of worry in it now. "Is something wrong? Has something happened to the baby birds is BlueSeed's nest?" The yellow Pegasus's green eyes were now wide with horror and panic.

But the animal denied again, gave up on jumping up and down, and began drawing a pony-shaped picture on the sand with his paw.

"Oh, so you met a pony on your way home, is that it?" FlutterShy asked reviled nothing happened to the nest she was supposed to keep safe.

Angel nodded and with one swift movement, added a large bump on the "pony's" head.

The yellow Pegasus eyed the picture for a moment. "Hmm…" She hummed with her quiet, little voice. After what felt like forever, the pony's green eyes widened in fear and worry. "Oh my goodness! The pony you found is injured?!"

Angel breathed out a sigh of relief, he thought she'd never get it. Don't get him wrong, he loves FlutterShy, but the female pony could be so clueless sometimes it was getting annoying.

"Oh dear!" And a second later the yellow pony was out, with a med-kit strapped to her back and a fierce look of worry placed on her face. "Okay, Angel. I'm ready, show me where the injured horse is."

The white rabbit happily complied, bouncing of inside the dark forest with the shy pony close behind, towards the place where he saw the poor pony fall out of nowhere and hurt his head.

# FlutterShy's POV:

When Angel told me he found an injured horse in the forest, I was sure it was just RainbowDash who flew into a tree while training her barrel rolls or Pinky Pie who "accidentally" jumped off a cliff, again.

What I _didn't_ expect was a tall, dark gray stallion with a spikey silver mane and tail. Dressed in a green vest, a black mask covering his muzzle and a wired headband covering up his left eye. His cutie mark representing something that looked like a red eye pupil, with strange black symbols.

He was obviously not form PonyVille or I would have recognized him, so I approached him with caution even though I knew he was unconscious.

When I was close enough to touch his face, I realized his mane was standing in a very awkward angle, completely defying the laws of gravity that Twilight liked to talk so much about. And that's why I didn't realize he was, in fact, a unicorn. The sharp horn was covered with so much silver hair, you'd swear it wasn't there if you didn't take a closer look.

He was also pretty big, too. Closer to Celestia's size than any other pony I ever saw in my life.

I swear if he and Applejack's brother Big Mac stood back to back, he'd probably be a head taller than the tallest stallion in the village.

And that all, though pretty amazing, made my situation a lot harder.

With him being so big, he probably was way too heavy for me to carry him alone without the help of a unicorn or another Pegasus.

I looked him over for any injuries that would need my immediate attention and was satisfied with spotting a single, large bump right beneath the great horn.

Good. He wasn't seriously injured, I can leave him here with Angel and go get Applejack and Rarity for help.

After explaining my plan to Angel and giving him a fierce order to keep him safe, I flew off to look for my two friends.

# A bit latter:

The first thought that entered Kakashi's mind after he woke up was:

 _Whoever said 'Trying never hurts' needs to 'try' falling off a cliff, into a pit full of spikes and pointy things. See if his, so called, 'theory' works!_

His head was pounding and he felt as if he was ran over by a bunch of Naruto clones, channeling a rasengan in each hand.

Not to mention that his entire body felt funny, as if it had parts that weren't originally there. He felt so out of his own body, that the poor Copy Ninja began wondering if he grew an extra head, or something.

Groaning, he reached out a hand to rub the sore bump on his head. His hand felt the familiar hair beneath it and began rubbing the cause of his discomfort, until it felt something that _wasn't_ there in the first place.

Right there, above his sore bump, was something long, hard and pointy, sticking out of his forehead.

His eye opened in shock.

Since when do humans grow horns out of nowhere?!

But then Kakashi realized something even _worse_ than possessing an unnatural horn, on his head.

The world surrounding him was no longer harsh and dualistic, instead being cute, cuddly and insanely colorful. Everything in the room he found himself in, looked as if it was freshly taken out of one of the children's coloring books, he saw in a bookstore while searching for the next part of his beloved novel. It was simply to bright and happy to be real.

That alone scared the living _hell_ out of him, since his brilliant brain realized he was no longer in the same universe as before, but was even _worse_ than finding yourself in virtual paradise, was the fact that it was populated by ponies.

 _Talking, unnaturally colored, ponies_.

There were _so many_ universes out there, and he had to end up in the ONLY ONE, where everyone's a pony.

Great. Now, where is the door?

And, you may ask, how did he find out about this detail? Well, it was because his host turned out to be a talking _Pegasus,_ he was currently staring at.

"Oh, hello there." The creature smiled. "I didn't know you were up. Are you feeling okay?" She, the voice was _definitely_ female, asked flying up to him.

His brain tried to think of an answer but all it came up with was:

"You're a pony." And that left his throat as if had a bunch of sand paper pushed down his throat, a minute ago.

The flying, yellow horse looked at him weirdly, before giggling. "Of _course_ I'm a pony, silly. What a wired statement considering that you're a pony, too."

…

…

…

What?

"What?!" He couldn't help himself. Squeaking that question out like a frightened girl, Kakashi jumped out of the bed (he just now realized he was laying in) and looked down at himself.

What he saw made his heart stop.

Indeed, he was a pony.

A tall, dark-gray pony with silver hair and tail, a nearly black dark gray eye that was taking half the space on his face, a large silver horn barely visible from behind his gravity-defying hair, with the mangekio sharingan glaring at him from both sides of his ass, only wearing his jounin vest, headband and mask from his usual clothing and a pair of goddamn large wings, he felt neatly folded on each of his sides, under his green vest.

Trying not to panic, Kakashi did a quick recap.

He was stuck in a world way to colorful and cheerful to be physically be able to exist, in a body that looked more like a children's mascot than that of an elite ninja, with no way out till his chakra grows back.

His conclusion was that, he somehow ran into Itachi, even though he was nowhere to be seen, and is now in a sugar coned nightmare, created by his Tsukuyomi.

Because, as he stated earlier, this place was too good to be true.

Kakashi was so panicked, he forgot about the small pony floating right next to him.

"Uh…sir?" She asked a bit fearful. "Are you okay?"

Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, he turned towards the yellow pony with the classic bored look in his eye. There was no use in scaring the poor thing, so he decided to play her game and just see where it will lead hi.

"Uh…sorry about that." He chuckled nervously. "The bump I got must have messed up my head a bit." Kakashi eye smiled.

The Pegasus blushed and giggled. Kakashi had to admit, she had the most precious, little voice he ever head in his life. "That's okay, head injury can do that to anypony." She smiled at him.

Kakashi cleared his throat. "I really thank you for giving me shelter." He said, his tone grateful. "I'd probably still be unconscious if it wasn't for you, Miss..."

"FlutterShy." She said, still blushing. "My name is FlutterShy."

"FlutterShy, then." If he wasn't playing good-ninja, he'd raise an eyebrow at the wired name she had.

"And you, sir?" She asked, curious. "I'd like to know your name to…you know, not have to call you 'sir' all the time." The yellow pony blushed with embarrassment, a delicate pink hue decorating her cheeks.

"My name is…uh…" He tried to think back to all his incognito mission nicknames, but none of them were _cute_ enough to fit in this reality, so he just went with the first thing that came to his mind. "Silver Wing. Yeah that's it, Silver Wing. Pleasure to meet you, FlutterShy." Kakashi added, nodding his head low as if trying to bow. He _was_ playing gentleman, after all.

She giggled in response to his pathetic excuse of a bow he was sure, Minato-sensei would laugh at if he saw it. For once, he was grateful the man was dead and buried, otherwise he would never live it down. This whole situation was ridiculous enough, to make Ibiki, the man that never laughs, to burst in to laughing.

He cursed this universe under his breath. It literally made him grateful his sensei was dead.

As you can see, he wasn't exactly thrilled to see what it would make him do next.


	3. Chapter 3

"Shinobi from PonyVille."

Chapter 3

"Living in the lie and living in the truth."

The poor Copy Ninja was beginning to _hate_ everything about this Universe.

Everything around him was colorful, whimsy and all about perfect. It made him want to throw up, what little was left of his diner.

As if it was mocking his life in hardship and loss, with every smiling pony he passed.

Those creatures got everything wrong!

Life was not like that!

It's not filled with endless happiness, love and affection! Only hardships, traps and traitors that make it hard for you to survive!

A smile and a hug can't fix all your problems! It won't bring back the people that died, now will it?!

There are no good people! There are ones that are evil on the outside, and those that are evil on the inside.

Friendship is _not_ magic! It's just a form of relationship one has with another, that can either end with undying loyalty or dead trust. It will _not_ protect you from the evil that, without doubt, invades this land. But it might stab you in the back, if you choose your friends unwisely.

Hell, he's a _prime, living proof_ of everything he just listed and his life was nothing but murder, death, destruction and loss.

There is an old saying his father once told him: "Life is so busy being cruel, that it forgets to let us enjoy it from time to time."

In the life of a ninja there is _no room_ for happiness.

Whoever taught all those sugar coned truths to these poor beings, needs to rot in hell for his filthy lies!

Absent-mildly he wondered what, the so called, Princess Celestia did with the ponies that discovered the lies she and her ancestors have been feeding them, through all those years.

Kakashi scowled under his breath as he, once again, tripped over his own hoof. The sudden action causing him to pay more attention, to the road before him.

Kami, he _hated_ walking on all-fours. He always tripped every five steps.

Even as a few-months-old baby he wasn't much of a crawler, being a lot more interested in mastering the art of walking, instead.

He never saw the need to learn that skill. It's practically useless compared to walking and he couldn't imagine himself, or any other dignified jounin for that matter, being able to throw a shuriken with both his hands occupied with holding up his weight.

Right now though, he was forced to remain in this position for an ungodly long portion of time, forcing him to get used to the new style of walking.

He turned around and another unnamed mare swoon, when his gray eye met her green one.

Sighting in annoyance, Kakashi cursed FlutterShy under his breath.

The stubborn, shy pony made him take of his vest, headband and, worst of all, his beloved mask. Saying that nobody wore clothes such as those in PonyVille and that people will think he's a spy or a criminal, if he kept his left eye covered by a headband.

The result was a billion swooning female ponies and him feeling naked.

He almost gave in to the temptation of hypnotizing the next mare, who looked at him with the eyes of an awed puppy, with his infamous sharingan.

It was bad enough that his coat was the 'saddest' looking one in all PonyVille, but he also realized that he was considerably bigger than every other horse he met. Thanks to that small detail, instead of 'blending in with the crowd' like he planned to he 'stuck out like a sore thumb'.

Even the stallions had to look up at him, when he and FlutterShy passed them on their way to the yellow Pegasus's friend's house.

"Twilight will figure out where you come from." The winged horse chattered quietly. "She's the smartest pony in all of Equestria. I'm sure she has maps of the entire kingdom in that library of hers, if she doesn't know them by heart. I can even bet my wings, she has a book about curing amnesia, too. That pony has a book about everything, I tell you."

Oh yeah, he forgot to mention. FlutterShy fell for his 'I-think-I-have-amnesia' story and is now convinced that, if he gets a proper look on the maps of Equestria, he'll be able to remember where he came from.

"Yeah…sure…whatever." Kakashi answered, not really interested in what she was saying. He was too busy worrying about his chakra, which stubbornly didn't want to recover back to its previous glory. If he didn't get it back fast, he would be stuck here forever. And, by God, the universe knew _full well_ he _didn't_ want to.

The yellow pony heard the lack of confidence in his voice and saddened a little.

Surely a handsome stallion such as Silver Wing _must_ have a girlfriend waiting for him at home, and maybe even a child or two.

The poor stallion must be worried sick for them!

Eyes sparkling with hot determination, she few up to Kakashi and hugged him in front of everybody. Something she never did, except when with her five best friends.

He looked down at her, startled.

"Don't worry." FlutterShy whispered to his chest. "I'll help you get back to your friends and family, no matter what."

Kakashi stared at her pink mane for a minute, wondering where on earth she got _that_ idea, from. He never mentioned that he had friends waiting for him, not to mention family. Though he _had_ a few good comrades back in Konoha, he wouldn't necessarily call them his 'friends'. As for family…he didn't have one.

His mother died giving birth to him and his father committed seppuku, when he was six years old.

His other relatives were either dead long before he was born, or gone M.I.A and K.I.A just like his grandparents, aunts and uncles.

The Hatake clan was no more, he was the last of them and decided to keep it that way.

His heart is to hallow to feel anything close to love and his spirit was broken beyond repair, long before he turned seven. The idea of _him_ having a girlfriend, even with his good looks, is pretty much ridiculous.

"I really thank you, FlutterShy but…" He answered slowly and she looked at him with green eyes. "I'm afraid that, what you want to do is…impossible."

With that said, he freed himself gently from her grasp and made his way towards the large treehouse with the sign "Golden Oak Library" on it, leaving a petrified Pegasus behind.


	4. Chapter 4

"Shinobi from PonyVille."

Chapter 4

"As if the situation wasn't bad enough..."

Kakashi walked up to the large treehouse, stopped before the door and…

Was about ready to bang his head on the wooden surface.

They…cannot…be… _serious!_

There, on the oaken room separator, was a doorknob.

He made a 'are you f*****g, _kidding_ me?' at the door.

In a world occupied by creatures that didn't have _hands_ , somebody was actually _dumb enough_ to invent the doorknob!

The-fricking- _doorknob_!

Of _all_ the possible ways to open a _damn_ door, _WHY_ did he/she choose _this one?!_

Taking in a calming breath, before he exploded in raging fury, the Copy Ninja wondered why he even cared anymore. It wasn't his fault this place made no goddamn sense.

Why, then, was he so _determinated_ to bring _logic_ , in a land full of _animals_ that believed _friendship_ is their most powerful weapon?

Surely he's fighting a losing battle.

The ' _power of friendship_ ' is _nothing_ compared to a good jutsu. Like Naruto's rasengan or his raikiri.

And, if a doorknob was their preferred way to open doors, he silently wondered how on _Earth_ have they managed to _survive_ so long with nobody _eating_ the lot of them?

 _They probably_ befriended _the predators so they didn't eat them_. A voice in his head snickered and Kakashi shook his head to focus on the matter at hand.

 _How, in the Havens, am I supposed to_ open _that thing?!_ The gray pony growled, desperately wishing for his hands and fingers, back. He proceeded with looking around the small golden colored object, trying to find some kind of hidden mechanism that will allow him to achieve success. There had to be _something_. Otherwise, how did the occupants of the house enter it? By _magic_?

But there was nothing there.

It was just a regular doorknob. The exact same one he'd see back in his own apartment, on his bathroom door.

His newly acquired horse ears, flattened against his skull, a sign that he's definitely _not_ happy.

Kakashi's sarcastic brain decided to _emphasize,_ what he was experiencing right now.

He, Kakashi Hatake. The Hidden Leafs _smartest_ and most _skilled_ shinobi, biggest _prodigy_ of his _generation_ , _legend_ of the Third Shinobi World War, only non-Uchiha that managed to unlock the Mangekio Sharingan and best tactician in all the Five Countries.

Was being _beaten_ by a _door_.

Somewhere up there his father just fainted from embarrassment, Minato-sensei dug his head in a cloud feeling the same emotion Sakumo was experiencing, Obito was rolling around in laughter and something important in Kakashi's brain, spluttered and died.

That…was probably his pride.

Dark-gray cheeks glowing with embarrassment, the Copy Ninja considered screaming his throat out in annoyance but decided against it.

It would be totally out of character for him and he knew, from experience, that losing your cool in any given situation always had dear consequences.

Taking, jet another, calm breath Kakashi looked at the door again.

It was such a _simple_ thing and jet, it gave him so _much_ problems.

Shaking that thought away, Kakashi focused his brain to concentrate on every moment he saw a pony open a door. Images appeared before his eyes and he thanked Kami, he had inherited his father's photographic memory. If he didn't, he'd be screwed.

He frowned. Every pony he saw, opened the door with their hooves. Something even a tiny, baby knew was impossible. It just _didn't work_ in real life.

 _But…_ He thought, being long done with arguing with this universe's logic. _Since I'm now a part of this world, perhaps its laws will work on me as well?_

With his mind made up, Kakashi picked up his right hoof and placed it on the doorknob.

It slipped.

Blinking with a bit of surprise he tried again.

And again, and again, and again and again…

Every time his large, dark hoof slipped.

Soon he was _so_ angry, he began doing with both his hooves while standing on his hind legs. Looking a lot like one of his ninken, when they wanted to get inside the house and he accidentally left the door locked.

 _Oh so you want to play it this way, hmm?!_ Kakashi was _beyond_ furious, now. He snorted and turned around, his strong legs in front of the door. _Well then, how do you like THAT?!_ With that thought firmly in his mind, the Copy Ninja kicked the wooden object as hard as he could, with his hooves.

He felt the wood break under his strong limbs and smiled in satisfaction, when it hit the ground with a loud crash.

His small victory was spoiled however, by a quiet voice that emerged from beneath the fallen door.

"Twilight. I think there's someone at the door."

JA107: *laughs* Man, Kakashi really _hates_ PonyVille so far. But don't you guys worry, that may soon change (or he'll get even more annoyed. I don't know XD) Anyway, sorry I didn't ad Team Seven as his family. I wanted him to mention them, when he meets with Miss Cheerilee and the Cutie Mark Crusaders. I'll gladly use the code names you suggested Bucky749 ^^. Oh, stupid me almost forgot, sorry it's so short. Next will be longer. I promise


	5. Chapter 5

"Shinobi from PonyVille."

Chapter 5

"Life is brutal and full of nonsense."

There weren't many situations during his life time when Kakashi could honestly say, he had a _stupid_ idea.

Usually all his plans, suggestions and thoughts are, even if they sounded a bit insane at times, well thought out by the supercomputer that is his brain.

That's what made him the Hokage's permanent advisor and general in so many war conflicts. His ideas are so reliable, nobody ever dares to question them. _Even_ if they seem suicide.

However the minute he so recklessly decided to kick down the wooden surface, all his logical thinking, all that knowledge that made him the force to be reckoned with…decided to go for a summer vacation.

For, the moment the quiet voice squeaked from beneath the door and the two yellow and purple mares appeared in his line of vision, a quiet song called "You f-up now, Hatake." played in the back of his mind.

God. When was the last time he heard that song?

When he tried to steal a cookie from the cookie jar before dinner, at age three?

The purple mare ran up to the fallen door. "Spike! What happened?!" She then looked up at him and...

His brain just melted from the strain of looking for a suitable justification, excuse, _anything_ for what he just did with the horse's door.

"I-I…the door was…blocked." Well, it's official. He was the king of 'Lame excuses' from now on.

He closed his eyes and shook his blushing face, knowing he looks fricking ridiculous but not caring. It's not like he has more pride and dignity to lose, anyway.

 _Really? Really, Hatake?!_ A voice sounding exactly like his dead (or so he thinks) friend, Obito. _After_ years _of making up excuses, THIS is what you ultimately came up with?! I'm ashamed for you, my friend._

"Well, maybe…" The purple unicorn said, eyeing his suspiciously and junking him out of his thoughts. "But that didn't mean you had to knock it down to the ground." With purple lights flashing from her horn, she raised the fallen wood revealing…a _dragon?!_

"Are you okay, Spike?" She asked almost tenderly, helping the beast, although smaller than her, to his feet.

The flying lizard groaned and rubbed his forehead. "Y-Yeah…I'm fine, Twilight." He, again definitely a male voice, answered smiling softly. "It's just a bump. Nothing to serious."

Reassured by her friends words, the purple pony turned to the horse who, very rudely, entered her house.

"Anyway, who are-is something wrong with your eye, Mister?" Twilight asked, watching with a bit of fear as the left eye of the stranger, began to twitch violently.

The stallions face looked as if he was trying to say: 'are-you-seriously-talking-to-that-fire-breathing-lizard-that-could-eat-you-faster-than-I-can-blink-right-now?!'.

"Um…Silver Wing?" FlutterShy asked, placing a hoof on his shoulder. "Are you alright?"

Kakashi's brain went to overdrive.

Here he was, in a world occupied by talking _ponies_ that for, Kami knows what reason, use _doorknobs_ to open doors, think that friendship is the strongest weapon ever and treat possible predators just waiting to _eat them,_ as friends.

And this wasn't like a 'drawn-in-ink kind' of dragon he saw many times in Sai's drawings, oh no! This right here was a 'real-life-eats-people-and-guards-princesses-locked-in-castles' type of dragon.

And the ponies seemed _okay_ with it!

Was he in a mental asylum? Because this has _got_ to be a mental asylum! No species is born that _stupid_!

He must have finally lost his mind in the middle of all his survivor's guilt, self-hatred and drowning himself in past mistakes. There is no better explanation for everything he previously witnessed!

Nothing. Makes. Any. Goddamn. SENSE!

 _Kashi, relax._ His head was about to explode when the calm voice of his father, smothered him from the far back of his head. _Not everything can be explained by logic, you know. Some things are meant to be bizarre so that the world around you, can still be a place of mystery and wonder. If everything could be as easily explained as you want it to, we wouldn't have such wonderful mysteries like the: Bermuda triangle or Stonehenge. Think about it, Kashi…_ His father's voice began to fade. _Would life really be better that way?_

The Copy Ninja sighted inwardly. He knew his father was right of course, but that didn't mean he liked it.

Taking a calming breath, he made his face move from a 'shocked-as-hell' look to a more 'meh-been-there-done-that. Nothing-unusual-here' one.

That's precisely when he noticed all the colorful eyes glaring worryingly, at him. Even the tiny dragon he dropped a door on, seemed generously concerned for him.

"Uh…sorry about that." Kakashi smiled, chuckling nervously. "It's just that…I'm not used to seeing…dragons on a daily basis. I humbly apologize for my rudeness, ." He then bowed as much as his large, gray body could let him to the small, green creature.

The dragon blushed and rubbed the back of his head. "It's okay. The door was going to be exchanged later this week, anyway." He smiled at Kakashi, who felt his ears flatten against his skull in shame.

"I hope that door didn't hit you too hard, Spike I presume?" He asked, lowering his gaze and rubbing his shoulder with his hoof.

The dragon waved his paw at him. "It's fine really, you didn't know I was there. And besides, the stupid thing tended to block for no reason anyway. You just gave us another good excuse to get a new one."

A bit of Kakashi's guilt lifted from his heart at the sound of the young, lizard's words and he flashed him a 'thank-you' smile.

"So…" The purple pony, he figured was named Twilight, started. "Since the whole door thing is worked out, would you kindly tell me why I owe this unexpected visit, FlutterShy?"

Again, Kakashi visibly paled.

FlutterShy. He totally forgot about the yellow Pegasus!

Kami, she must feel so _embarrassed_ for him right now.

He was about to turn around and apologize to her, when the said pony flew up to him and placed both hooves on his shoulders.

"Well, Twilight my friend, Silver Wing here has a problem and we thought you'd be able to help us with it." She spoke, her voice smaller and quieter than when she way alone with him.

The purple unicorn looked up at Kakashi, her light-purple eyes shining with curiosity.

"What kind of problem?" The Copy Ninja just loved how people talked about him, as if he wasn't even there…

"Well…he can't remember where he came from and I never saw him use magic or fly, ever since he woke up from being unconscious a few hours ago." The yellow pony said, worry thick in her voice as she got closer to the alicorn without even realizing it.

"Hmmm…" Twilight placed one hoof on her chin, deep in though. "It seems to me like your friend has a severe case of amnesia. After all, flying and using magic is not something an alicorn easily forgets."

"Do you have a cure for it?" FlutterShy spluttered, clutching the male pony's shoulders with more strength than he thought she had.

To that the purple pony shook her head.

"I'm afraid that kind of brain damage can only be fixed by the body's natural healing abilities, but we can speed up the process by teaching Silver Wing how to fly and use magic again."

The yellow Pegasus _beamed_ at the idea.

"That's a wonderful idea, Twilight!" She squealed, jumping away from Kakashi and hugging her friend furiously. "We can get you and Rarity to teach him how to use magic, Rainbow can give him flying lessons and Pinky and Applejack can show him how to use his hooves to hold objects!"

For some reason Kakashi's inner alarm tingled at the name "Pinky".

Something told him this were lessons, he's _not_ going to enjoy.


	6. Chapter 6

"Shinobi from PonyVille."

Chapter 6

"What a little crush can do to ya."

RainbowDash really couldn't believe what she was currently staring at.

Both Rarity and _Applejack_ have the same dreamy expressions on their faces and they were, apparently, daydreaming about the _same stallion_!

Now don't get the pony speedster wrong, she couldn't _count_ the number of times Rarity was in love with a handsome stallion that turned out to be already taken or had no interest in her.

But _Applejack_ is an entirely different cup of tea.

She doesn't _just_ develop a crush on someone based on their looks, like Rarity does. With her the process of 'falling-in-love' is more tied to the other pony's character, rather than just their pretty face and body.

So for her to develop a crush on a _total_ stranger that came based on the man's looks alone, that just _happened_ to be a guy _Rarity_ had her eyes on, is as if Pinky refused to come to somebody's birthday party.

It just doesn't happen.

"Will you two _knock it off_ with the 'oh-my-flippn'-GOD-He's-handsome' looks?!" Rainbow yelled at her two friends who were sitting back-to-back under a tree, blushing a deep shade of red in response to whatever was running through their heads at the moment. The colorful pony wasn't sure she wanted to know what _exactly,_ the two was thinking about. "Because, by Equestria, is that _creepy_!"

The information that Twilight and Fluttershy are bringing the guy in question over here, didn't help a thing. In fact all that knowledge did, was make the two mares go so _crazy_ in anticipation, Rainbow wasn't sure she _recognizes_ her friends anymore!

Not only did they react in a way that would make Pinkie Pie seem settle to every stallion with a dark coat that passed by their hang out place, but they also began arguing about who's going to 'get' the poor soul, once he arrives.

At first all they did was argue verbally, the only harmful things being used were unkind words and angry words.

But Rainbow knew that couldn't last for very long, so she sat down a good few steps before them and simply waited to the storm to begin.

She didn't have to wait long, for an unfortunate squirrel dropped an acorn on Applejacks head. The filly then ignored all other logical possibilities and accused Rarity, who responded in kind with smashing her hoof into the earth-pony's nose.

The fight was stopped before it could get bloodier, by Rainbow and Pinkie.

After a quick scolding by the speedy pony, who wished Twilight was there instead, the aggressive fillies agreed to sit down and act like civilized horses. But that didn't stop them from daydreaming.

"Oh that marvelous silver mane, those strong gray hooves, that piercing yet bored look in his onyx eyes…" Rarity whispered, a bright blush on her face.

Rainbow snorted, uninterested.

"Sounds to me like he's a sight for sore eyes." The Pegasus joked. "His fur being all 'happy-go-lucky' colors of the rainbow and not the _least_ bit depressing."

An acorn was thrown at the back of her head with a soft "thump".

"Don't ya talk about my man like that, _Dashy_." AJ snarled from her spot beneath the tree. "He's the most attractive stallion I've seen for a while now, and I _won't_ allow his _uncanny_ beauty be insulted by the likes of you!" The earth pony threw another acorn, but the blue pony was able to dodge it this time.

" _Your_ man, Applejack?" Rarity cut in before Rainbow had the chance to answer. " _Please_ , darling. That stallion you speak of is _clearly_ of higher status, than a simple farmer pony." The element of generosity huffed. "Without doubt a gentlepony such as he, would choose another like him for his mate." She eyed Applejack from head-to-toe with a critical eye. "And not a dirty, sweaty, uneducated farmer mare like yourself."

"Oh yeah?!" The element of loyalty yelled back, jumping to her hooves. "And what makes _you_ think he'd eyen _look_ at you, once he learns what a cheap, doll-like-looking, product of your social class, you are?!"

"Woah, woah, ladies calm down!" Rainbow jumped between them, pressing one of her hooves, into each of their chests. This conversation was getting _way_ to personal and might end up scarring the friendship between Rarity and AJ, forever. She wondered if the said stallion was even worth it. "For all we know, that guy might have a wife, or a boyfriend, or maybe even a child or two." She yelled trying to get her friends' attention.

The two bloodthirsty mares stopped trying to rip each other's throats out and looked at the pony between them, raising their eyebrows as if saying 'So?' and 'What about it?'.

"What I'm trying to say is the guy you're fighting over, might already be taken." She explained slowly. "Or might not be interested in _either_ of you, because he likes boys." Rainbow added, hoping the last thing will make the two stop fighting.

But they just snorted at her.

" _Please_ , Rainbow." Rarity said in her usual, high-class, accent. "Even _if_ he had a boyfriend, the stallion was left in wherever he comes from, as well as in his now, nonexistent past." The white unicorn said grinning. "Fluttershy informed us that that poor, handsome horse fell from the sky while flying, and has hurt himself in the head so hard, he forgot everything that happened to him before now." She added, wiping away a fake tear.

"And even if he _still_ likes em' boys now." AJ added. "With all the 'less-than-pretty' stallions in PonyVille, he'll be straight faster than Big Mac can say 'eyup', once I'm done with him." Applejack gave a sly smile and a deep blush covered her face.

"As for the wife and children," Rarity continued. "It's not like he _remembers_ them right now. And, even if he does, well…it's not like a pretty-boy like him never had lovers." The white pony then turned to the yellow one with a pointed look. "And, dearest Applejack, do stop feeding yourself lies. For you're not getting within a mile of my future husband."

"Oh really?" The farmer pony asked, a challenge clearly present in her voice. "I'd like to see you try and _stop_ me."

At this point, Rainbow Dash gave up pushing the two apart and just let them do as they please, since she was a lot more concerned about Pinkie Pie.

The poor energy-ball was going mad with worry for her missing friends.

"OMGOMGOMGsomethingmusthavehappenedbecauseTwilightisNEVERlate!Ever!EvenwhenIdecidedtodestroyalltheclocksinEquestriasheSTILLcameearly!Whatdoyouthinkhappendedtothem,Rainbow?Perhapstheywerelostinatrafficjamorwereattackedbyairpirates!"

"Pinkie, _relax_. I'm sure they're fine, only fashionably late."

"Oh!Oh!Iknow!SomebodythrewREALjamontheroad,theygotstuckandarenowunabletomove!Thatsit!Butwhocouldhavethoughtofsuchahorriblething?Oh!Oh!NowIgotit!ItwasDiscordagain!That,uh…, _whatever_ heisalwayshadacnackforcausingtrobule!"

"Pinkie, stop babbling! I can barely understand what you're saying!" Rainbow yelled as the party pony began talking even faster. _By Celestia!_ The Pegasus thought _. And here I though,_ I'm _the fastest pony around._

"Maybehesentagiantmosterafterthem,likeaarmyofwiredrobotsunderthecomandofanevildoctorwholookslikeanegg,orthatenormousmoonthingthathadasadfaceallthetime!Nahthatwouldbetocliché !I'msoWORRIEDDashy!"

The poor pink pony continued to rant, despite the other's attempts to calm her down.

Sighting Rainbow Dash gave up and just laid down, felling more helpless than she did in years.

Both AJ and Rarity were still causing havoc fighting among themselves, Pinkie Pie was freaking out and there was absolutely _nothing_ she could do, to stop it.

That state continued until Twilight and her group finally arrived, though the blue pony couldn't tell if that helped the situation…

Or just made it a lot worse.

JA107: For those who didn't understand Pinkie Pie's rants:

OMG, OMG, OMG! Something must have happened, because Twilight is NEVER late! Ever! Even when I decided to destroy all clocks in Equestria, she STILL came early! What do you think happened to them, Rainbow? Perhaps they were lost in a traffic jam, or were attacked by air pirates!

Oh! Oh! I know! Somebody threw REAL jam on the road, they got stuck and are now unable to move! That's it! But who could have thought of such a horrible thing? Oh! Oh! I got it! It was Discord again! That, uh…, _whatever_ he is, always had a knack for causing trouble!"

Maybe he sent a giant monster after them! Like an army of wired robots under the command of an evil doctor, who looks like an egg! Or that enormous moon-thing that had a mad face all the time! Nah, that would be to cliché, even for Discord. Aghhhh! I'm so WORRIED, Dashy!"


	7. Chapter 7

"Shinobi from PonyVille."

Chapter 7

"Meeting Pinkie Pie…and Watson."

At first Rainbow Dash didn't know why there was such a fuss about that particular stallion.

Sure he was tall (probably taller than Celestia herself), had a face worth looking at, a large horn that just screamed of power and a pair of large, silver wings.

Just like any other male horse in PonyVille, just in different size and color.

The only things that stuck out about him, were his cutie mark, the badass looking scar on his left eyelid and the hollow, the perfectly honed muscles and distant look in his lone eye. All those things made him look like a seasoned warrior or a war veteran, who's been through many traumatic things in his life and saw many of his friends and teammates die in battle.

But…there wasn't a war for a long time in Equestria. The most resent one being against Nightmare Moon and her desire to drown their world in total darkness, but nobody _died_ during the confrontation with the night Queen and there wasn't any bloodshed either.

The pony in question couldn't also be from the earlier wars, since he looks much too young to be able to participate in those bloody events.

So…why did he look as if he just left the battlefield, not to long ago?

Pinkie's excitement-filled voice pulled the blue pony out of her musings, before she could think about them more.

"Hello!" She jumped into the poor male's face. "My name's Pinkie Pie! I'm super cute, super sweet, super lovely, super party crazed and _super_ _pink_!" The pink pony's introduction was accompanied by tiny confetti cannons appearing out of nowhere, in typical Pinkie fashion. "What's your name? Why are you not talking? Ooooooh…you want me to guess?! Okay! I'm all over it! Don't tell me! I'll guess! I absolutely _love_ guessing games!" She said before the poor male could answer, pulling out a Sherlock Holmes costume and walking back and forth, with a thoughtful look on her face and bubbles popping from her plastic pipe. "Is seems to me, my dear Watson, that our guest is part of a very wealthy family." She said with a comically thick English accent, then teleported on the other side of the silver haired stallion and pulled one of his wings apart to its full length. "Judging by the appearance of both his horn and silver outlined wings, it obvious to any onlooker that he must be part of the royal family." Pinkie then appeared next to the stallion's cutie mark, making him jump back away with shock.

"What…? H-How?" The silver haired stallion mumbled as he looked at the place Pinkie occupied before switching to his side, then back at the pink pony, looking as if he never saw anything scarier in his life.

"Though that little fact is indeed very insightful, it does not help us discover the identity of this most interesting stranger. Perhaps his cutie mark will reveal some clues as to who he really is. Hand me my magnifying glass, Watson!" Much to everyone's bewilderment and disbelief a pony hoof actually gave her that detective utensil, out of thin air. "Ah…there we go!" She then carefully inspected the wired circle decorating the stranger's sides. "Hmmm…the symbol does not resemble anything of the royal families, I know of…perhaps he's an outsider prince." Pinkie then sucked on her plastic pipe and turned to the empty space behind her. "What do you think, dearest of all Watsons?"

"I suppose there is no other possibility, Miss Pinkie." A thick, clearly British voice answered from the said empty space.

Along with everyone else the son of Sakumo and Mira Hatake stared at the bubbly pony, wondering if it's time to call the nearest mental institution, before she turns them all into cupcakes and sells to the local supermarket, claiming it all to be a new recipe!

Once again, the pink pony made Kakashi think he was in a mental hospital for sick people. After all…he did spend three days inside Itachi's Tsukuyomi. If one doesn't get sent to spend the rest of his life wearing a stray jacket and talking to his own toenails, he didn't know _what did_.

He could feel his brain getting overworked with trying to explain this strange phenomenon, of a talking pony bending reality to her will…

Or simply making everyone around her have the same delusions…one of both.

And she thinks he's a prince! A _prince_! Hah! Good one! Yeah, and he also _doesn't_ totally read porn in front of everyone, because he doesn't care what they think, as well as _doesn't_ take part in Gai's stupid challenges because he just won't _shut up_ about them! He's also _always_ on time on _every_ meeting he ever held.

Yeah...that's _him_ alright, 100% Kakashi Hatake.

All jokes aside though, _whatever_ this pony though, she was S-C-A-R-Y. Not to mention C-R-E-E-P-Y.

All of the genius's alarm bell that were placed in his head, were ringing of danger. The earlier thought about cupcakes and supermarkets, serving as a reminder of what could happen to him, if he ever finds himself alone with this pony.

"In this case we can only guess, I'm afraid. Hmm…the name has to have something to do with this wired circle thing that is your cutie mark." After a second of uncomfortable silence, the mare's baby-blue eyes sparkled with an idea. "Is it 'Bobby'? You look like a 'Bobby' to me. No?" Kakashi didn't even shake his head. "Alright then…how about 'Dumpling'? Yes… that sounds good. Since _everyone_ likes dumplings, _somepony_ ought to name their kid after one! Yes…I can just see it now…'Dumpling…McWiredCircle! That's it, isn't it?!"

"Uh…" Kakashi let his voice be heard for the first time since the conversation started and Rainbow had to admit, his voice did sound sexy, being a lot times more husky and badass sounding than any other voice in PonyVille.

But she never got to hear him speak a full sentence, because Pinkie Pie interrupted him once again.

"Oh…My…GOD!" She screamed atop of her lungs, scaring everyone out of their horseshoes and making Kakashi's heart pound more than during the time, he used the Mangekio Sharingan on Deidara and his body couldn't withstand the pressure. "He _talks_! He actually _talks_!" She wiped some invisible sweat of her light-pink forehead with a sigh of relief. "That's a relief! For a moment there I thought you were a mute since you don't talk much, but it would be okay if you were one for reals, though. You would be the first mute pony that I would make friends with!" After that, the mare's mouth never shut up. "It would be so _awesome_! You would teach me how to talk without using my mouth, only my hooves and-"

"Actually," He said quickly. "One doesn't have to be mute, to know how to speak without the use of its tongue." He added, a brilliant plan hatching in his head. "I can still teach you, if you want."

"Really?!" Pinkie positively glowed at the proposition, baby blue eyes big as plates. "YAAAAY!"

"Yes, starting today." Kakashi grinned wickedly. "Lesson Number One: Don't talk under _any_ circumstances. Homework: Stay silent for an entire week."


	8. Chapter 8

"Shinobi from PonyVille."

Chapter 8

"The only person worth talking to."

Kakashi, who currently was sitting on his behind staring at setting sun over the large apple fields of Sweet Apple Akers with a storming cloud over his head, was in a very _very_ bad mood.

His dark-gray pelt was ruffled and covered in bruises and bandages, his gravity-defying silver mane looked more like an electrified bush covered in smoke than normal hair, and his sharingan eye now sported a beautiful purple limo. His, now, _single_ functioning eye glared daggers at the innocent trees, wishing they would just blow up so he _doesn't_ feel like the _only_ butt for the world's jokes.

The poor ninja/alicorn felt about as bad as he now looked, which was the equivalent of allowing Gai to open one of his famous Gates and competing against him in a sparring match. Those type of mock-battles never lasted very long, even _with_ the help of Obito's sharingan, and usually ended with _one_ of them strained in Tsunade's private hospital room for an entire _week_.

He never hated _anything_ more than he did those white walls.

Though the non-sensical world filled with children's toys for five-year-old girls, came as a close second. _Especially_ after everything he's been through _today_.

Before he ended up here, at the residence of the Apple Family, the six ponies he had the _dis_ pleasure to meet: Applejack, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie decided to adopt him as one of their 'pet projects' (Pinkie taking that term _literally_ , waving a carrot stuck on a stick, all the while miraculously being completely _silent_ , in front of his nose to make him jump over an obstacle, until he smacked it away with his hoof in pure annoyance) and teach him how to properly behave and act like an alicorn since, you know, they _still_ believed his cover story about amnesia.

The first lessons were led by Rarity and Twilight, which main focus was on trying to teach him how to use something he didn't even _believe_ in, AKA Magic.

Despite his unquestionable status as a natural genius and quick learner, the gray stallion couldn't use his _magic_ to do the _simplest_ of exercises. Never before had the prodigy felt like a complete and utter _idiot_ , like he did now. He briefly wondered if this is what Naruto felt like every day, him being constantly the clueless one of the group.

Needless to say Kakashi was ashamed of himself for not being able to do something the other unicorns deemed mind-numbingly easy, mainly use his inner 'magic' to levitate a rock.

And it wasn't for the lack of trying! He tried focusing his remaining chakra into his horn but that only made it mildly glow with a silver-blue light, he tried staring intensely at the rock in hopes that it will get the hint and start levitating, he even tried pointing at it with all his might with his right hoof figuring that perhaps his magic didn't come from his horn but from other sources.

The only major breakthrough he experienced was when Pinkie Pie, desperate to gain his attention, began pulling at his tail and his horn reacted by zapping her with a healthy dosage of raikiri-colored lightning.

It appeared that he could only preform magic tricks with his new head decoration, when fueled by an extremely strong emotion such as anger and irritation.

Again he had to compare himself with Naruto and the qualities he has to fulfil to use the Nine-tail's chakra, since they were practically the same, wondering if this was Minato-sensei's sick idea for a lesson about understanding jinchuriki's.

Giving up the magic mumbo jumbo, the mares switched their attention to teaching him how to fly. _Another_ thing his mind can't actually accept that he can do, yet.

Moving around limbs that weren't there mere weeks ago took a lot more effort than the Copy Ninja imagined it would, but when he finally _did_ manage to move them up and down, more problems seem to pop up in place for the one fixed.

His wings were, to put it frankly, too _big_ for his slim built. Created by _whatever_ changed him into an alicorn to pick up weights at _least_ four times his own, so, when he made a practice flap to get the hang of it, he shot upwards like a _rocket_. Losing control almost instantly and having to rely on both Flutter Shy and Rainbow Dash to place him on solid ground again.

The rest of the lessons contained him smashing into a _lot_ of trees, rocks, mountains, thunder clouds (he didn't know it was possible but this universe already proved that his knowledge of things was the pony equivalent of 'horse poop', so what does _he_ know?) and even other fliers, after which he was promptly carried to the local medical center to have his injuries taken care of.

And now he's sitting on the back of Applejack's farm, contemplating what a terrible magic pony he is making, and watching the sun be dragged down by another flying horse monstrosity (he doesn't know why that surprises him any more).

"Howdy." Apparently he was _so_ engrossed in feeling pathetic that he didn't realize a slightly smaller, red coated stallion joined him in watching the sun go down. "It's a beautiful sundown we're having tonight." The smaller male pony started up conversationally and Kakashi had the decency to look at him.

He was perhaps the tallest stallion he saw during his stay, with kind and gentle green eyes, not unlike those of Applejack, an orange mane some freckles dotting his face and a giant green apple for a cutie mark.

"Can't say it's any different from the countless other sundown's I've seen." Kakashi nodded, keeping up the pretense that seeing something so utterly illogical was completely normal for him. "But I can't deny that it is a spectacular view to see a mortal being pulling down the majestic sun, like a blinder over windows." _And a bit impossible but that's a normalcy here._ The Copy Ninja added as an afterthought.

"Eeyup." The red stallion nodded as well and they both fell into a comfortable silence, before something inside compelled Kakashi to open his mouth again.

"So…I'm guessing you're Applejack's big brother."

"Eeyup."

"Oh, that…was a lucky guess. The name's Silverwing."

"Big Mac." The red stallion handed him a hoof to shook but all Kakashi managed to do, was rub it a little.

"I'm also guessing you're an apple farmer, judging by the collar and muscular build."

"Eeyup."

"I also noticed that you and Applejack seem to be the only ones doing anything around here. Does this mean you both manage to 'applebuck' all those apples, _alone_? _Without_ the help of magic?"

"Eeyup." Big Mac seemed to puff his chest with pride admitting that.

"Wow...that's actually kind of impressive." Kakashi meant that, back in the human world not many non-chakra farmers could claim to do the same with only their bare hands. "You must be a really hard worker, then." He nodded his respect to the red pony. "An admirable quality."

"Eeyup." Big Mac accepted the complement humbly, just nodding his head.

The silence stretched out until Kakashi spoke again.

"Do you ever feel like you're in the wrong place at the wrong time?" He had no idea why he was opening up to this pony but something in the back of his head told him it wasn't a mistake. "Like you're in a world you actually didn't belong in?"

Big Mac seemed to contemplate an answer before sighting.

"Eenope." He answered sadly.

"That's okay, I didn't think you did." Kakashi shrugged. "Though this is precisely what I'm feeling now. Like I'm stuck in a place that was never my home."

Silence answered him as he looked up to see another pony placing stars on the sky like a child does stickers.

"It may not feel like your home now." Big Mac said quietly. "But perhaps, if you gave it a chance, It could become one in time."

With that the red pony retreated to the house, leaving Kakashi alone again.


	9. Chapter 9

"Shinobi from PonyVille."

Chapter 9

"Apples! Apples everywhere!"

That night Kakashi found himself back in Konoha.

Specifically in the village's pub where he and his usual drinking buddies, Asuma and Gai, sat around doing what they did best.

Drink sake and whine about the unruly brats they had the misfortune of calling 'students'.

Blinking slowly at the concerned looks his friends were giving him, apparently he fell asleep on Azuma's monologue about Shikamaru's 'dragging' laziness and how it's _totally_ the Hatake's fault that he turned out that way, much to the smoking man's annoyance, the Copy Ninja let out a large relieved sight and allowed his, thankfully, fully _human_ body to slump in his chair like it never did before.

Perhaps the whole 'Dear-Kami-what-have-I-been-SMOKING' moment where he woke up in a world occupied with living toys targeted towards the female children demographic, apparently stuck with no way to go back home and everything that came with it: Team Seven (no matter _how_ annoying they have the ability be), Gai (he never realized how much he actually walked him and his challenges of 'Youthfulness', at least they make more sense than the Pony world and _don't_ end up screwing with his head), Tsunade's face containing nothing but annoyance and anger as she yelled at him for tardiness (he can't help it, really he can't. He'd to anything to see the old Princess try to stay angry at him when he pulls down his mask (just for her to see, mind) and pulls his best 'You-hurt-my-feelings-Auntie-Tsune' pout, the face she makes while nose-bleeding is just so _adorable)_ as well as the most _important_ , most _precious_ of people he, unintentionally left behind, Mr. Ukki the plant (as well as the only living thing in his house that's _not_ a ninja, though Kakashi is working on it. He swears.), was _just_ a delusional nightmare caused by drinking a bit too _much_ sake and eating close to _nothing_ for dinner.

And thank _Kami_ , or _whoever_ is up there running this crazy reality, for that!

He would have taken the _worst_ case of indigestion for an entire _week_ if it meant that stupid, nonsensical world of talking rainbow colored _animals_ was nothing by the leftover after effects of Itachi's _bloody_ Tsukuyomi.

Just as he was going to tell his fellow jounin teachers, after giggling at its absurdity of course, about that bat-shit _crazy_ dream he had where he was turned into a hoof bearing-monstrosity with wings and a horn sticking out of his head and was learning how to control and use said 'upgrades' with six _more_ colorful horse abominations, Gai suddenly jumped out of his seat and proceeded to pounce onto him, making them both fall to the ground with a rather heavy thud.

Because of the Taijutsu master's considerable weight (must be the bushy eyebrows), Kakashi's chest wasn't very much pleased when the green clad _idiot_ decided it would make the _perfect_ ground to practice _tap dancing_ , of all things.

Before the Copy Ninja had the chance to call for help, or do anything really…, the Konoha Green Beast decided to open his impossibly loud mouth (if he and Naruto ever have a yelling contest, Kami help anyone who either has sensitive hearing or likes his ears in general. AKA pretty much _everyone_.) and start talking.

Only…it wasn't _Gai's_ voice that came out of that throat.

Unless Madara Uchiha _himself_ kicks him between the legs, there is no way to make _Maito Gai_ sound like a six-year-old girl with a country accent-

 _Oh_.

Kakashi's blood went a little bit colder and his heart beat a little bit faster, as the reason between his friend's odd, well… more than usual that is, behavior finally clicked in his head.

 _Oh, **no**_.

The answer was backed up with the familiar Konoha scenery begging to fade and Gai's body slowly being replaced with an orange colored mini-horse.

 ** _Please_** _no_.

* * *

"Wake up, Mr. Silverwing!" The little abomination, also known as Applebloom as told to him yesterday by Applejack, yelled jumping up and down in open delight on his poor, already quite bruised (it was a miracle none of his ribs were broken) ribcage. "You nearly missed breakfast time and sis wants to show you how to properly buck a tree before sunrise! So get up!"

 _Wait…_ Kakashi's sloppy brain questioned, while also trying to figure out how the _hell_ can she expect him to get _up_ with her _still_ on his chest. _Did she say ' **before** sunrise'?_

Dear Kami, of they _don't_ get up at the brink of dawn, when _do_ they get up?!

Seeing his obvious difficulty Applebloom was kind enough to jump _off_ his chest (ow…), allowing him access to the much needed oxygen as well as the maneuverability required to pull off the, previously impossible, task of _leaving a bed_.

 _Before_ he had problems taking a pure blooded Uchiha with two functioning sharingans _and_ the _Tsukuyomi_ ability, with _one_ sharingan that really shouldn't be working for him and absolutely _no_ bloodline to help his chakra reserves adjust to the strain.

 _Now_ the hardest, Mission Impossible really, things to _do_ for him were _opening doors_ and _getting out of beds_.

Forget the _Tsukuyomi_ , _chakra deprivation_ and _bijuus_! Clearly _doors_ and _beds_ are the Copy Ninja's worst enemies!

Tell the Akatuski, or just about anyone who wants the Hatake's head on a silver platter, to throw a _door_ at his face once they see him, _that'll_ stop the silver haired _bastard_ from copying your technique.

Its _full proof_ , I pinky swear!

Before Kakashi's brain could degrade him even more, the smallest member of the Apple family began pulling on one of his wings to get his attention.

"Come _on_ , Mr. Silverwing!" Applebloom huffed and puffed. "Granny Smith will be very disappointed if you _don't_ try her famed pancakes with apple syrup that she made _especially_ for you!"

The Hatake groaned and restrained from rolling his eyes to the height heavens.

Yet _another_ thing to add to the growing list of the Pony-infested world's flaws:

This family's utter obsession with the innocent round fruit also known as 'apples'.

They had apple _juices_ , apple _cheese_ , apple _bread_ , apple-shaped _chairs_ , apple-shaped _tables_ , apple-shaped _bookshelves_ , apple-themed _rooms_ , apple-themed _jobs_ and apple-themed _cutie marks_!

 _Hell_ even their bloody _names_ are _apple_ based!

He honestly, and wholeheartedly, _wouldn't_ be surprised in the _least_ if they were secretly part of a _cult_ believing in an apple _god_ that created the apple-shaped _planet_ they now stomp on.

Groaning softly to himself he managed to awkwardly stumble downstairs to the dining room, where the rest of the Apple Clan was waiting, deliberately not sneaking a look outside through the windows along the way.

He didn't even _want_ to know how early it is.

"Glad you decided to finally join us, sonny." Granny Smith welcomed him pleasantly from the stove, where his fresh pancakes were being made. "You'll have to wait a bit for your share, Sugar-cube, Mac over here was a little _too_ enthusiastic with the concept of 'free tasting'." She then sent her oldest grandchild a disapproving look before quickly switching her attention to the sizzling frying pan.

"Yup.'' The red stallion chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck, before whispering a heartfelt 'sorry' in Kakashi's general direction.

The Copy Ninja would have paid attention on all this, if he wasn't looking at the _ginormous_ portions of the soon-to-be- _his_ breakfast that occupied the plates of both Applebloom and Applejack respectfully.

And, judging by the large bowl of pancake ingredients standing on the table next to the elderly mare, his share will be even _bigger_.

He may not be able to make this crazy place into a nightmare, but _might_ end up with the week-lasting indigestion problems, anyway.

Kami help him.


End file.
